gym notes: 50% and 1/2

I sent a project in the gym tonight.  Breaking news, right?  Well, it was a near thing.  After warming up I topropped the thin, vertical route, probably my fifth time climbing it with no hangs.  White tape marked the holds, a fitting color for a route that had become my white whale.  On previous redpoint attempts the tenuous clips had startled me, pushing me over the line from tenuous to desperate.  Unlatching my hand for the second clip meant putting almost full bodyweight on a grimy smear, one I could just feel my foot popping off.  I took, then limped up the rest of the route, greasing off the hold before the dyno to the finishing jug.

Next go I was anxious to make that clip and pulled the rope up at an earlier stance — only to find myself short of the draw.  Then I did it again.  Premature E-clip-uation.  Managed to get the rope in from an awkward but secure cross-body reach from a little undercling, but the rope shenanigans left me weak.  When I got to the movement crux, an off-balance foot sketch, I took again.  Crap.  Finished the route properly, though, but that only added to the disappointment.  I know how to do this!...So why can't I? 

My fingers felt pathetic, but I figured having one more go while I was tired would ease up the moves for next time.

...And I sent.

It's a measure of my inexperience that I've never worked a route this many times.  A half-dozen toprope burns is nothing in the world of hard sport climbing, and even this relatively little bit of work  affected every single move.  The insecurity was still there, but the confidence of rehearsal overcame it.  I knew the way through.  Yup, it's going to feel sketchy committing so hard to that smear, but hit the next crimp efficiently and you'll stay on.  It feels better to put your foot on that knob now, but in two moves you'll be a lot happier if it's on that edge instead.  After the crux I thought, You're about to send this thing.  Is this over-confidence, something to be suppressed?  Or is it conviction, which can carry you through?  Either way, I stayed calm and stuck the dyno.  All business.

When I got down I noticed the route's name scrawled at the bottom.  50% and 1/2, 5.11-.  Whatever that means.